Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Four Years of Bliss

Four years ago today I sat in the celestial room with my husband-to-be. What should have been a very spiritual and wonderful moment was instead infected by my asking my fiance if he was sure about this, because it wasn't too late. 
Since we had met our relationship had been a roller coaster. I was a very insecure person and was not blind to Ammon's merits. In my mind there could be no coincidence between his world and mine. When we were not together (which was often since we didn't live in the same town until we got married) I would think of him. I would remember the one dimple that he gets when he smiles big. He has the most hilarious laugh if you can get him to that point. Not only that but he is brilliant. I have always felt like I was a fairly intelligent person, but in comparison to Ammon I am pretty dull. He is handsome, modest, humble, athletic, kind, sweet, genuine, oh and I could go on for pages, but I think you get the point. In my mind there was nothing wrong with Ammon, but there were sure some problems with me. I couldn't understand why he would want to be with a girl as petty and dramatic as myself.

So, for years I did everything in my power to make Ammon leave. I knew he was going to eventually, so why not help it along. He put up with so much. And he kept coming back for more. I denied that I loved him, I pretended that I could take him or leave him, and I told him flat out that I wasn't interested in marriage and would be leaving on a mission right when he got home from his, so he might as well move on. I didn't want to get hurt. I didn't want to admit how much he had actually gotten to me. But even when I tried to give him back his wedding ring, twice, he held on. 
Four years later I look back on that time and am mostly just embarrassed. What a nerd I was. But Ammon has seen me at my best, at my worst, at my ugliest, at my happiest, at my saddest, and in a rage and has loved me through all of them. I guess that through our dating I learned a lot about the man I married. 
I told my sister once that I had had a dream that Ammon cheated on me. I think we were at the hairdresser and she started asking if I was worried about that. I laughed and told her no, but that all through our dating years I thought he was going to leave me. At this point my sister piped up and said that I was the most ridiculous person on the Earth because Ammon is more loyal and devoted to me than any man has ever been to any woman. I'm glad that others can see it too. 
Our wedding day was wonderful. I had wanted snow, but since that didn't happen I was happy with the fog (other than the headache it gave to those trying to fly in). It was a perfect day. I always thought that something had to go wrong on a wedding day. I fully expected to wake up looking like a pizza face on the day of my wedding. I guess the fact that I had stripes down my back, bum, and legs from a tanning booth mishap was enough. Or maybe the close call we had with the cake that my parents carefully transported all the way from California. Either way, our wedding day was beautiful and perfect. Our reception was equally so.
After four years I am still amazed every time I look at my husband. What a man. I couldn't have done better for myself; there is no better. I got it all; handsome, tall, dark, sweet, righteous, loving, faithful, helpful, supportive, hilarious, and affectionate. He makes me want to be a better person. Ammon inspires me. I still think he could have done better, but I am so glad to have him. I don't try to chase him off anymore, although I'm sure there are days he thinks I am.
Our four years together have been blessed with supportive family and friends. We are thankful for families and can't wait to have one of our own someday. I think that this guy below is ready to be a grandpa, even if he claims otherwise.
Thank you, Ammon, for the wonderful life you have given me. For the kindness, love, and support. Thank you for making me laugh on the worst days. Thank you for helping me through all the rough times. Thank you for never being one of those "rough times." Thank you for adoring me.
So here we are. Four years went by quickly. But thankfully we have eternity, that might, just might, be long enough.
I can't wait for the coming years. I can't wait for the laughter. I can't wait for the hard days. I am so excited that I will get to live through all my years with Ammon. And I love knowing that even when I'm old and wrinkled that my husband will still think I'm beautiful. What a man.
I love you, Ammon. Happy Anniversary!

2 comments:

Cnbztribe said...

Beautiful Melanie! You guys are so cute together! I think he does deserve you and you him. Happy Anniversary!
-Britta

Cedric Anderson said...

Ammon inspires me too. What a dude. You guys are cool and we really want to hang out, but Sarah's in Reno with my mom while her hand heals and, alas, i am just a lonely bachelor living like a common hobo for the next couple of weeks. We do still want to hang out though!