Last Look at Christmas

I just wanted to send Christmas off with a little tribute, a little song, and a few tears. Before you watch this, please make sure you have a tissue handy, you may be surprised by how much you need it.

Four Years of Bliss

Four years ago today I sat in the celestial room with my husband-to-be. What should have been a very spiritual and wonderful moment was instead infected by my asking my fiance if he was sure about this, because it wasn't too late. 

Since we had met our relationship had been a roller coaster. I was a very insecure person and was not blind to Ammon's merits. In my mind there could be no coincidence between his world and mine. When we were not together (which was often since we didn't live in the same town until we got married) I would think of him. I would remember the one dimple that he gets when he smiles big. He has the most hilarious laugh if you can get him to that point. Not only that but he is brilliant. I have always felt like I was a fairly intelligent person, but in comparison to Ammon I am pretty dull. He is handsome, modest, humble, athletic, kind, sweet, genuine, oh and I could go on for pages, but I think you get the point. In my mind there was nothing wrong with Ammon, but there were sure some problems with me. I couldn't understand why he would want to be with a girl as petty and dramatic as myself.

So, for years I did everything in my power to make Ammon leave. I knew he was going to eventually, so why not help it along. He put up with so much. And he kept coming back for more. I denied that I loved him, I pretended that I could take him or leave him, and I told him flat out that I wasn't interested in marriage and would be leaving on a mission right when he got home from his, so he might as well move on. I didn't want to get hurt. I didn't want to admit how much he had actually gotten to me. But even when I tried to give him back his wedding ring, twice, he held on. 
Four years later I look back on that time and am mostly just embarrassed. What a nerd I was. But Ammon has seen me at my best, at my worst, at my ugliest, at my happiest, at my saddest, and in a rage and has loved me through all of them. I guess that through our dating I learned a lot about the man I married. 

I told my sister once that I had had a dream that Ammon cheated on me. I think we were at the hairdresser and she started asking if I was worried about that. I laughed and told her no, but that all through our dating years I thought he was going to leave me. At this point my sister piped up and said that I was the most ridiculous person on the Earth because Ammon is more loyal and devoted to me than any man has ever been to any woman. I'm glad that others can see it too. 
Our wedding day was wonderful. I had wanted snow, but since that didn't happen I was happy with the fog (other than the headache it gave to those trying to fly in). It was a perfect day. I always thought that something had to go wrong on a wedding day. I fully expected to wake up looking like a pizza face on the day of my wedding. I guess the fact that I had stripes down my back, bum, and legs from a tanning booth mishap was enough. Or maybe the close call we had with the cake that my parents carefully transported all the way from California. Either way, our wedding day was beautiful and perfect. Our reception was equally so.
After four years I am still amazed every time I look at my husband. What a man. I couldn't have done better for myself; there is no better. I got it all; handsome, tall, dark, sweet, righteous, loving, faithful, helpful, supportive, hilarious, and affectionate. He makes me want to be a better person. Ammon inspires me. I still think he could have done better, but I am so glad to have him. I don't try to chase him off anymore, although I'm sure there are days he thinks I am.
Our four years together have been blessed with supportive family and friends. We are thankful for families and can't wait to have one of our own someday. I think that this guy below is ready to be a grandpa, even if he claims otherwise.
Thank you, Ammon, for the wonderful life you have given me. For the kindness, love, and support. Thank you for making me laugh on the worst days. Thank you for helping me through all the rough times. Thank you for never being one of those "rough times." Thank you for adoring me.
So here we are. Four years went by quickly. But thankfully we have eternity, that might, just might, be long enough.
I can't wait for the coming years. I can't wait for the laughter. I can't wait for the hard days. I am so excited that I will get to live through all my years with Ammon. And I love knowing that even when I'm old and wrinkled that my husband will still think I'm beautiful. What a man.
I love you, Ammon. Happy Anniversary!

Going Private

Well, I never thought I'd go private with our blog. I had no reason to. But we are getting closer to being done with our foster parent training. With that in mind, we have decided that it would probably be in the best interest of the children in our home to not have pictures, comments, and stories posted for the whole world to see. Thus, I need to know your email so that I can invite you. I think it will happen sometime next week. So, if you want an invite to continue reading the exciting happenings in the Dahl House, please leave me a comment and tell me so (and include your email just in case).

If I were a poet my night would be productive

"While pensive poets painful vigils keep-Sleepless themselves to find their readers sleep."

~Alexander Pope

"Tomorrow night is nothing but one long sleepless wrestle with yesterday's omissions and regrets."

~William Faulkner

"A flock of sheep that leisurely pass by,

One after one; the sound of rain, and bees

Murmuring; the fall of rivers, winds and seas,

Smooth fields, white sheets of water, and pure sky;

I have thought of all by turns and yet do lie

Sleepless!"

~William Wordsworth

Clarification 2

Well, I guess now we know who reads the long blogs and who gives up part of the way through. Since there has been some confusion about who will be moving in I thought I'd clarify. Ammon and I started classes to become foster parents this last week. We are in the process of getting licensed and such. Originally we were hoping to be licensed and ready to have kids in our home by the second or third week of February. But, I am going to have to get a bunch of background check information from Russia, so it may be a little longer than we had anticipated. At any rate, we will be welcoming kids from 0 to 10 into our home. Unless we move to a new house and then we will be welcoming kids 0 to 18. But, as of right now there is going to be no moving anywhere. I just like to keep the possibility open.

Clarification

While I would love it if we were moving into a new house (and actually have the house that I want already picked out) we are not actually moving to any place new at this time. What I meant in my previous post was that we will be going through the entire house boxing up stuff that we aren't using, moving furniture, and making room for another person. That's all. You know, the rearranging stuff.

Musings on Hair

I cut Ammon's hair this last weekend. You know, it always amazes me that he can stand to get the same haircut over and over again. He has had his hair cut the same way since his very first cut. I have tried to get him to go in and get his hair cut, but he refuses. If I don't cut his hair, then he'd do it himself. Which, I refuse, because he makes such a mess.

I have managed to move 27 times in my life. I attended several kindergartens, 2 elementary schools, and 2 high schools. My mother is notorious for rearranging the furniture when my dad is not around. She always managed to have the house completely re-done and moved around, on her own (even the heavy stuff). Growing up I changed my bedroom around at least every other month. That's just what we did. My family moves and changes.

I have now been married to Ammon for nearly four years. I new him before his mission as well and was able to visit his home right before he left. The only thing that ever changes is the placement of the big recliner. It moves to make room for a Christmas tree once a year. Other than that everything is in the same place. The furniture is the same that Ammon has always known (at least some of it is). His family doesn't move and doesn't change.

Perhaps the fact that we are such polar opposites when it comes to some things is helpful. I tend to think it is. But then there is the occasional evening when Ammon comes home to a new house than what it was when he left. He is always so frustrated that I would move the piano without his help and doesn't seem to appreciate that I sacrificed my body for the sake of change. I think it also perplexes him when I go and chop all of my hair off after spending a few years trying to grow it out. To him, it seems very complicated and makes no sense. To me, it's just what I do, I change.

So, we are entering a new year. We will be adding kids to our mix very soon, and we live in  a tiny little house. Guess what we are going to be doing for the next month? Moving and changing. Luckily, Ammon saw this one coming and is ready for it. But it is fascinating what the same old hair cut will make you realize about the personalities of two people.

Fabulous, Romantic, Enthusiastic, Hopeful,...

I'm having blogger issues. We just wanted to send off the holidays and say Happy New Year to all of you. We hope it is the most amazing year that you have ever had and that all of your dreams come true. Have a fabulous, romantic, enthusiastic, hopeful, wonderful, beautiful, cheerful, healthy, inspiring, bodacious, stellar, etc new year!