I'm a wimp

Let me see if I can talk this out. I need to find out what my problem is, and why I complain so much.

~ It took Ammon and me well over two years to even get pregnant, so why do I feel the need to complain so much? I think that I should just be grateful that we didn't have to spend thousands of dollars to have this outcome.

~ I complain all the time of how fatigued I am. I am so tired all the time. I rarely do anything anymore. But I shouldn't complain. I don't have a job right now, and I don't have other children. What a better time to be fatigued when my sweet husband finds it totally acceptable for me to lay around all day, and I have no one else to answer to.

~ I feel heavy! This is probably the one that scares me the most. I'm completely uncomfortable and I feel enormous and heavy. I've not even gained 10 pounds yet. I'm supposed to gain at least 25 total. I have no idea how my frame is going to support that kind of weight. But, other women do this and they do it well. I don't know why I feel so heavy, but I suppose that is an occupational hazard of being pregnant.

~ My nose is stuffy, runny, and bloody all the time. But to be perfectly honest, it has always been those things. It's just a little more intense right now.

~ I have to gain more weight and I don't want to. What kind of a complaint is that? When else in my life will I have the opportunity to gain weight like this.

~ I miss my dogs. I think that this is a legitimate complaint.

~ Tomorrow I will be half way done with my pregnancy. ONLY half way! Will it ever end? But shouldn't I be saying, half way! almost done!

~ My heart is freaking out all the time and it scares me. It is supposedly perfectly normal for this to happen, but it sure feels un-normal. But if it is normal, then...

~ Did I mention that I need to gain more weight. Have I mentioned that I have no appetite and rarely want to eat. And what I do want to eat when I want to eat is very low in calories, vitamins, minerals, and everything else that would be good for my baby. I should not be so overwhelmed.

So, basically what this all comes down to is that I am a wimp and a pessimist. I am excited to see my little boy. I enjoy feeling him kick. But I am not looking forward to the next 4 months. And the reason is simply that I am a wimp. This has been a good session. Thank you blog for talking me through that. Now I feel a little lighter and maybe if I just look around at the inspirational women around me who have done this before I'll feel stronger and more able to take on the last half of this pregnancy.

We need a new Dahl house

Much has happened in the Dahl house of late. As you all know, if you read the previous posts, we were able to see our little guy this past weekend. We were also able to find out that he is indeed a little guy. Everything looked great. They were all impressed with how strong his heart is, his vital organs are all looking great, and he is hitting all the marks like he is supposed to. After the appointment we went and bought the first outfit that this little guy has owned.

I hadn't bought a single thing for him yet. Below is a picture of everything I have in preparation for our little boy. Yikes!
At least he won't have to come home from the hospital naked. We learned that our little boy is doing great, but his mom needs to step it up a bit. I'm behind on my weight gain. I have a really hard time eating still. I need to eat a lot more protein as well, which, of course, happens to be the last thing I want to eat. IF I want to eat, which is rare. But if it means a healthy baby I'm just going to have to fight the gag reflex. 

Not only was our weekend filled with exciting news of our baby, but we also got some exciting news about our house. On Thursday morning we got an offer! We were pretty excited. As of Friday night we were able to get our house under contract. I'm not sure what we are doing right, but the Lord has truly blessed us lately. We were able to get the majority of our stuff boxed up this past weekend and will go back in a couple weeks to move it all to a storage unit. We should close on the house a few days later. Then we just have to find a new place to live when the time comes to move back to Utah. Right now the plan is to be back at the first of September; to give us plenty of time to settle in before our little boy shows up.

So, we are in need of a new home at some point, but we are pretty excited about all the recent happy events. Now if Ammon could just work shorter hours life would be bliss. But I guess we can't have it all.

It's...a...

Boy!

Pink or Blue?

We will have our big 20 week ultra sound in 2 days. Any wagers on what we are having?

Graduation

I thought I'd post a few pictures of Nick's graduation. I don't know why, but I have my eyes closed in every single picture. Ammon says he thinks you must close your eyes more when you are pregnant. I'm not sure if that's the reason, but why not? Anyway, you can also see my late 4 month belly. Exciting stuff.

They were right

A few weeks ago I went to get my hair cut. I have been to this place a lot before, so I know the people that work there pretty well (as well as you get to know people in a place like that). There was only one other woman in there and she seemed like a nice sort. So, I made my announcement. The women who work in there are newly weds and were extremely excited for me. Just the sort of attention I wanted. But the new lady wasn't in the mood to praise, I guess. Rather than say anything she gave me the most patronizing smile I have ever seen. Anytime I said anything about my pregnancy she would give me the "you have no idea what you are talking about" smile. I hate that smile. I wanted to shout at her, "So, I've only done this once. You had to have your first pregnancy at one point too. And how do you know what mine is like? You aren't in my body!" Sometimes I have a temper.

I have noticed that women really like to know more than each other. We somehow take pleasure in thinking that we have been there and done that. I find that the worst offender is pregnancy. If you have been pregnant before than you know all there is to know about everything and all these new moms are just rookies. Well, that may be. But from what I've heard and from what I've experienced, no two pregnancies are a like, so how could anyone possibly know everything. I don't know. But some women do.

Despite my dislike for all of these know it all's that give "the smile" I have found that they are all right on one point. Every one of these patronizers has told me to just "wait until you feel the baby move." They all attest that it doesn't get better than that. They were right. I felt our little one move 2 days ago. It brings tears to my eyes and smile to my face every time that I feel that. Being pregnant has not been easy for me. But feeling that there is actually a person inside me makes it all worth while. While I hope that I will never be one of "the smile" givers I will fully admit that in this instance they were right.

P.S. Forgive my rant. I couldn't help but get that out there, it has been driving me crazy. And I don't think of everyone who has told me to look forward to the first time the baby moves as fitting in to this category, for the record.

Here we are

Wondering what has happened to the Ammon Dahls? Well, wonder no more. We are alive and well. We are all settled down in our little apartment in Helena, Montana. It is truly beautiful here. We miss our home and we miss our puppies, but we are happy to be having a new adventure. Ammon is extremely and painfully busy these days. I'm am extremely and painfully not busy, which may be worse. At least in Provo I had a yard to take care of. Up until today we have not had internet either, so I finished reading the Anne of Green Gables series and have been doing reading on pregnancy. It helps to fill in the time.

But we haven't spent too much time here in Helena. Ammon spent last week in Kansas City doing a big training. And I spent the week up in Helmer, Idaho with my family. I think Ammon had a good time and learned a lot from his training. I had a wonderful time with my family. It makes a big difference when you have someone to socialize with during the day. At the end of the week Ammon flew to my parents and we all got to see my brother graduate. There are few things better than a Troy graduation as far as graduations go. It was a whole 30 minutes. Not bad. Half of that was a slide show.

We are now back to Helena and looking forward to going on a few fishing expeditions and exploring the various trails that they have around here. My morning sickness is easing up some, though I still feel far from perfect, and so that is making life easier. I'm showing now. I'm in that awkward "Is she fat, or is she pregnant?" stage, which is sort of fun, sort of not. We will find out in 2 weeks what we are having (if all goes well with the ultra sound). We hope to have my anemia under control soon too so that I'll have a bit more energy.

That's the update on us. We are enjoying our little stay in Montana. I'll be excited to get back to Utah though, which is something I never thought I'd say.